‘Pumpkin positive’ Tatmadaw and SPDC Generals

  ‘Pumpkin positive’

Tatmadaw and SPDC Generals

While reading the AFP news from Paris, I unexpectedly visualized that our beloved SPDC generals  are suffering almost all the diseases mentioned.

The British Medical Journal (BMJ) reported that Dr Paul Keeley, a consultant in the department of palliative medicine at Glasgow Royal Infirmary in Scotland wrote to the weekly BMJ to report a sample of new words that British doctors use among themselves.

They include:

Disco biscuits: The clubbers’ drug ecstasy. As in: ‘The man in cubicle three looks like he’s taken one too many disco biscuits.’

May be the readers could name the children of the SPDC Generals who are known as drug addicts.

For example, General Ne Win’s son with his first wife was notorious for drugs and gambling.

Hasselhoff: Term for any patient who shows up in the emergency room with an injury for which there is a bizarre explanation. Source: Baywatch actor David Hasselhoff, who hit his head on a chandelier while shaving. The broken glass severed four tendons and and an artery in his right arm.

I am sure late S3 General Tin Oo’s helicopter crashed wounds could be quite appropriate for this terminology, Hasselhoff.

Agnostication: A substitute for prognostication. Term used to describe the usually vain attempt to answer the question: ‘How long have I got, doc?’

May be the Senile General, sorry Sr General need to ask this question to his doctor.

Blamestorming: Apportioning of blame after the wrong leg or kidney is removed or some other particularly egregious foul-up happens.

This Blamestorming is the most important thing the SPDC Generals will need to do at the ICC.

404 moment: The point in a doctor’s ward round when medical records cannot be located. Comes from World Wide Web error message, ‘404 – document not found’.

Could explain the H.E. Professor Sergio Pinheiro’s condition in his latest Myanmar visit. A lot of 404 moments in investigating the dead demonstrators, MIA missing in action monks, illegally arrested persons’ where about etc.

Testiculation: Description of a gesture typically used by hospital consultant ‘when holding forth on subject on which he or she has little knowledge’. Gesture is of an upturned hand with outstretched fingers pointed upwards, clutching an invisible pair of testicles.

This Testiculation gesture is the Curious gesture typically received by Mr Pinheiro during the brief hurriedly done investigations of the relevant local authorities, police, hospital authorities and Ye Way Crematorium administrative officers.

Other slang used by doctors, according to past letters to the BMJ, included UBI (for ‘Unexplained Beer Injury’). We should reserve this term for Sr General Maung Aye.

PAFO (‘Pissed And Fell Over’) may describe the moribund status of General Khin Nyunt.

Code Brown, or a faecal incontinence emergency. According to earlier rumors, Than Shwe was supposed to be in this condition but because of the twist of fate, Daw Kyaing Kyaing is reported to be the real patient.

CTD means ‘Circling The Drain’, I hope our readers could rightly diagnose which general is in the state of CTD.

GPO signifies ‘Good for Parts Only’. I hope Daw Kyaing Kyaing is not in that condition. Ne Win, Tin Oo and Soe Win are even no more in  this state.

‘Rule of Five’ means that if more than five of the patient’s orifices are obscured by tubing, he has no chance. We all hope and pray that all top five SPDC Generals would deteriorate into this state soon for the numerous SINS they are committing on all the Burmese citizens, including the monks.

A patient who is ‘giving the O-sign’ is very sick, lying with his mouth open. This is followed by the ‘Q-sign’ – when the tongue hangs out of the mouth – when the patient becomes terminal.

The whole SPDC Junta is now ‘giving the O-sign’ and rapidly deteriorating into the ‘Q-sign’.

As for genetic quirks or inbreeding, FLK means ‘Funny Looking Kid’ and NFN signifies ‘Normal For Norfolk’, a rural English county. I curiously have seen the ‘Funny Looking Kid’ picture of the son of the biggest crony of the FIRST FAMILY of Myanmar.

General practitioners may use LOBNH (‘Lights On But Nobody Home’) or the impressively bogus Oligoneuronal to mean someone who is thick.

LOBNH (‘Lights On But Nobody Home’) in the VVIP’s residences in Naypyidaw, because they used to stay in Yangon or May Myo or Pyin Oo Lwin. Mr Gambari found out that Sr General was quite THICK and the impressively bogus Oligoneuronal.

But they also have a somewhat poetic option: ‘Pumpkin positive’, referring to the idea that the person’s brain is so tiny that a penlight shone into his mouth will make his empty head gleam like a Halloween pumpkin. –

We need to conclude with this last terminology, ‘Pumpkin positive’ could describe to all the SPDC Junta Generals and each and every General in the Myanmar Tatmadaw.