Myanmar Referendum jokes
I have edited and adapted to the Myanmar context from the original article in the Malaysiakini. I hope that the Malaysiakini could understand and forgive for this. They should even be proud that they could contribute a very good letter for the fellow Myanmar/Burmese citizens.
(1) Myanmar Tatmadaw has announced that its new national symbol is the Condom, because it accurately reflects the government stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks and gives us a sense of security while we’re actually being screwed!
(2) Senior General Than Shwe and General Maung Aye were in a helicopter looking down Yangon. Than Shwe said, ” Maung Aye, if I throw two 1000 Kyat notes down, two people will be happy.”
Not wanting to be outdone, Maung Aye said, “If I throw 200 of 10 Kyat notes, 200 people will be happy.”
The pilot heard the conversation and said, “If I throw the two of you down, 50 million Myanmars will be happy.”
(3) Three guys were arguing as to what race Adam and Eve were. The Myanmar Christian guy said they must be Myanmar Christians as they are so good looking. The Burmese Chinese guy said that they must be Burmese Chinese as they are so calm even with a snake.
The Burmese Indian guy said that they must be Burmese -Indian as they have no shelter, no clothes, no money, share one apple, advised by a snake who told them that they are living in paradise!
(4) Senior General Than Shwe, General Maung Aye, Htet Htet Moe Oo and General Khin Nyunt were sitting in a Myanmar Railway train heading up to Southern Shan State for campaigning. Near Kalaw, the train goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark.
Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap!
The train comes out of the tunnel. Htet Htet Moe Oo and Senior General Than Shwe are sitting there looking perplexed.
General Maung Aye is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap.
All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.
Senior General Than Shwe is thinking: “These guys are all crazy after Htet Htet Moe Oo. General Maung Aye must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him.”
Htet Htet Moe Oo is thinking: “General Maung Aye must have moved to kiss me, but kissed Senior General Than Shwe instead and got slapped.”
General Maung Aye is thinking: “Damn it, Senior General Than Shwe must have tried to kiss Htet Htet Moe Oo, she thought it was me and slapped me instead.”
General Khin Nyunt is thinking: “If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap General Maung Aye again.”
(5) Kyant Phut wins the election. To celebrate, they decide to send some space Hitchhiker to space on the Chinese Rocket. Senior General Than Shwe calls together a group of Kyant Phuts.
Comrades, we are going to send our man to space using Chinese Space craft. Since we want to be different from others, the Military -Kyant Phut Cabinet has decided that you will all now fly to the sun.
But Min Tayar Gyi, we all will be burnt to crisp.
Don’t afraid, the Myanmar Military and Kyant Phut government has thought of everything … you will fly at night!
Hitchhiking (also known as lifting, thumbing, hitching, autostop or thumbing up a ride) is a means of transportation that is gained by asking people (usually strangers) for a ride in their automobile to travel a distance that may either be a short or long distance. The latter may require many rides from different people.
(6) Myanmar Referendum brings to mind the old Northern Ireland election slogan – “VOTE EARLY AND VOTE OFTEN”
(7) A very famous Chief priest of a church in Naypyidaw, Myanmar is dying. Before he dies, he asked for Than Shwe and Maung Aye to be beside his deathbed. Both of them were excited at this opportunity because they thought it would be good for their image with the Christians around the world.
At the priest’s deathbed, they asked, “Father, why did you ask us to be with you on your deathbed?”
The priest replied, “Because I wanted to die like Jesus Christ. He died between two thieves, and I wanted to do the same.”
You can read this article in a ( Christian Christian Bible Study) Christian web site calling my blog as a bastard blog.
I hope and believe that the owner and editors are not true Christians.
Even if you are true Christians I do not wish to comment nor call back names but I have to review my deep respect on Christians which stays deep in my heart for a long time.
May be I need to give my remaining cheek for you to slap without any reason, as Jesus Christ had advised. At least, I hope, Insha Allah, some of the Christians’ hatred on Muslims may be reduced.
Then I could also prove that some of the Muslims’ moral standard are much higher than those Christians (NOT ALL CHRISTIANS as almost all the other Christians I met are kind hearted and polite.)
But I wonder the effectiveness of their Bible Study with this kind of rude and insolent use of words.
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